correct mindset

sometimes i just want someone who would stay on the phone with me. No problems or anything just phone to kill time… 

I don’t know how I can celebrate mothers’ day with my mother. I’m currently sitting here thinking what I can do for her. I mean after everything’s she’s done… She’s still supporting my sister and I when we’re residing on the other side of the country.She’s very family orientated, keeps in touch with all the family around the world. Although we’re not living with her, she worries about us every single day. There’s not one day that she doesn’t think of my sister and I… It bother’s me very much how she keeps stressing. She’s going through heath problems, and I believe it’s because of all the stress! If the stress isn’t from my sister and I, then it’s from my brother and my cousins… My mother is such a giving person, I have never seen a dark side of her. I really don’t know what I can do without her, and my family. I mean she pushed me out of her Vagina, tf I don’t even think I  wanna do that, like damn… 
As much as I’d like to just get my ass over there where she lives and surprise her, I can’t. I have no idea what I want to do for my mother, and for my grandmother. They’ve taken care of me since day 1, directly and indirectly. Through all the bullshit too, they’re still putting food on the table for the family. I just wish I can do something to show that I care, but what?

You say good things about people only when there’s other people around, but when it’s just you and your what you call ”friends”, you talk mad shit behind everyone’s back.  Now, don’t expect to think you’re all innocent and nice, because the world isn’t stupid like you. 

Shit ain’t easy, nothing is, but hopefully it’ll all pay off in the end.